Mother's Day Without Mom

My first Mother’s Day without my mom is far more difficult than I imagined.

Having just returned from California after her memorial service, my heart is still tender from the beautiful tributes, stories, and loving words shared by those who gathered to celebrate her life. Listening to person after person speak about Mom reminded me of something I have always known—she was deeply loved.

Many were surprised to learn about her extraordinary gift for oil painting. Mom rarely drew attention to her talents. She preferred working quietly behind the scenes, never seeking applause or recognition. Thursday mornings were faithfully reserved for her painting group, and for more than twenty years she lovingly served on the memorial committee at church, helping families honor those they loved.

Before the service, I had the opportunity to visit the Brentwood ranch one last time. I wandered beneath the lemon trees, picked fresh lemons, and admired the pomegranate trees bursting into bloom. Inside the house, I paused once again before the many paintings that lined the walls and discovered black-and-white photographs of Mom I had never seen before. In them, she looked every bit the beauty queen, but what I saw most was the loving-kindness that radiated from her life.

This Mother’s Day carries an ache I cannot quite put into words. Life will never be the same without her. Yet even in grief, I find myself overflowing with gratitude for the countless precious memories she left behind—memories that now fill the empty spaces in my heart.

To those celebrating with joy this weekend, I wish you a beautiful Mother’s Day. And to those carrying loss, longing, or tender memories, may you find comfort in the love that never truly leaves us.